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Sometimes, Jay Spring believes he is “the greatest person on planet Earth”. Having received an NPD diagnosis, his grandiose moments often turn “really delusional”, he states. You’re riding high and you’re like, ‘The world will recognize that I’m better than them … I’m destined for greatness for the world’.”

Regarding his experience, these episodes of self-aggrandisement are usually succeeded by a “emotional downturn”, where he feels overwhelmed and self-conscious about his conduct, rendering him especially susceptible to disapproval from external sources. He began to think he might have narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) after looking up his traits online – and was later diagnosed by a professional. Yet, he is skeptical he would have taken the label unless he had previously arrived at that realization by himself. “If you try to tell somebody that they have the condition, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he notes – especially if they feel a sense of being better. “They’re in a delusional world that they made for themselves. And within that framework, I’m the greatest and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Clarifying NPD

While people have been labelled as narcissists for over 100 years, the meaning can be ambiguous what people refer to as the term. People frequently term everybody a narcissist,” says a leading researcher, adding the word is “used more than it should be” – but when it comes to a formal diagnosis, he notes many people conceal it, because of significant negative perception around the illness. A narcissist will tend to have “an inflated view of oneself”, “difficulty understanding others’ feelings”, and “a strategy of using people to seek admiration through behaviors including seeking admiration,” the expert says. Those with NPD may be “extremely narcissistic”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he adds.

I never truly valued about anyone really, so relationships weren’t a priority relationships seriously

Sex-Based Distinctions in Narcissism

While up to 75% of people identified as having the condition are men, findings suggests this figure does not mean there are fewer narcissistic women, but that female narcissism is more often presented in the vulnerable narcissism type, which is under-identified. “Men’s narcissism tends to be more socially permissible, as with everything in society,” says a 23-year-old who discusses her dual diagnosis on online channels. It is not uncommon, the two disorders co-occur.

First-Hand Experiences

I find it difficult with handling criticism and not being accepted,” she shares, whenever it’s suggested that I am at fault, I tend to switch to a defensive state or I withdraw entirely.” Even with this response – which is known as “ego wounding”, she has been working to manage it and take advice from her close relationships, as she strives not to return into the damaging patterns of her earlier years. My past relationships were toxic to my partners as a teenager,” she states. Through dialectical behavioural therapy, she has been able to reduce her narcissistic traits, and she says she and her significant other “maintain an agreement where I told him, ‘If I say something messed up, when I use toxic language, address it {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

Her upbringing primarily in the care of her father and notes she didn’t have healthy examples during development. It’s been a process of understanding continuously which behaviors are suitable or harmful to say in conflicts because I lacked that guidance growing up,” she comments. There were no boundaries when my family members were criticizing me during my childhood.”

Underlying Factors of Narcissistic Traits

Personality disorders tend to be associated with difficulties as a child. Genetics play a role,” says an expert in personality disorders. But, when someone shows signs of narcissism, it is often “tied to that person’s unique upbringing”. Those traits were “their strategy in some ways to manage during childhood”, he adds, when they may have been overlooked, or only shown love that was based on meeting particular demands. They then “rely on those familiar tactics as adults”.

Similar to other of the NPD-diagnosed people, a person from Leeds thinks his parents “may be narcissists themselves”. The 38-year-old says when he was a child, “everything was all about them and their work and their social life. So it was like, keep your distance.” When their attention turned to him, it came in the form of “a great amount of pressure” to achieve high marks and career success, he recalls, which made him feel that if he didn’t fulfill their expectations, he wasn’t “good enough”.

In adulthood, none of his relationships ever worked out. I didn’t truly value about anyone really,” he admits. “So I’ve never taken relationships seriously.” He believed he wasn’t loving someone, until he met his long-term relationship of three years, who is also dealing with a personality disorder, so, like him, has difficulty with feelings. She is “very supportive of the stuff that goes on in my head”, he says – it was surprisingly, she who first suspected he might have NPD.

Pursuing Treatment

Subsequent to a consultation to his general practitioner, he was directed to a clinical psychologist for an assessment and was given the NPD label. He has been referred for psychological counseling on the public health system (ongoing counseling is the primary approach that has been shown to help NPD patients, experts say), but has been on the patient queue for an extended period: The estimate was it is expected around early next year.”

He has shared with a small circle about his mental health status, because “there’s a big stigma that every person with NPD is harmful”, but, in his own mind, he has accepted it. The awareness assists me to understand myself better, which is beneficial,” he explains. Those interviewed have acknowledged their condition and are pursuing treatment for it – leading them to be open to talk about it – which is likely not typical of all people with the disorder. But the growth of NPD content creators and the rise of digital groups indicate that {more narcissists|a growing number